Chapter 4 – Encouragement

Topher was actually surprised by his social skills. It reaffirmed that he could meet another individual without the assistance of an app. Their interactions happened so organically and serendipitously. What more could he ask for… Oh yeah, maybe if  Duncan could be gay and be everything Topher was looking for in a significant other? But of course he was not in the right headspace for that to occur. He couldn’t tell if Duncan gay, but that’s becase he had terrible gaydar. If only a device like that existed. 

Topher smiled back with a slight grin. “Nice to meet you. Where are you from?” 

“Boston originally, then moved to New York to pursue my undergraduate degree in Psychology, and now here to get my master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT),” he said as he made direct eye-contact. 

“Wow, that’s quite a journey all the way from the east coast,” Topher replied. He was also impressed with how this guy was with him. “Must be nice to be in a more temperate city?” 

“It is actually. Being able to have a bit more space here versus New York City if you believe it,” he laughed. “Have you ever been?” 

“Never, it’s on my list though. I grew up on the west coast and never left,” he said as he looked up after tossing the last of the laundry into the washer. He felt like either way, this was a connection and at the very least a friend in this new city. 

“Where on the west coast are you from, if I may ask?” He asks with such intent.

Topher was taken off guard by his neighbor’s interest. “I’m not as adventurous as you. Originally from San Diego, moved to Los Angeles for school…” Before he could finish the sentence he got a text ping on his watch. He briefly looked down to see who it was. His eyes rolled a bit as he began to bite his lip. 

“Ooh I know that look, text from an ex?” Duncan inquired.

“Yep, that’s it,” he replied with a heavy sigh. The once organic conversation turned sideways because frankly Topher didn’t want to talk about it. “… Just didn’t expect it so soon.”

Though as much as he didn’t want to talk about the past with this new acquaintance, his vague response only invoked more questions from Duncan. 

“How long has it been?” He asked.

“Three months…” He sighed. He wanted to say more but didn’t want to unload his emotional baggage in the middle of the laundry room. 

Almost as a saving grace, a chatty millennial came in with her earbuds in, clearly talking to someone on the phone, lugging what appeared to be a month’s worth of laundry. It gave Topher a moment to catch his breath before proceeding. 

“Well I should get back to my apartment and get back to studying,” he said. “If you ever want to talk I’m in 4B.” 

“Oh for sure,” he awkwardly replied. “Ugh yeah that sounds cool.” 

The two said their goodbye. Though Topher had no other reason to stay in that dingy room, it beat the awkward walk back up to their floor. He pretended to check his load for loose items before pushing the start button.

A sigh of relief expelled from him when he finally shut the door. “Well that was fun,” he said to himself. He looked around his apartment. This was his new start, to be the man his ex failed to endorse, to be free of the body image issues that haunted him. It was an opportunity to be himself in a surrounding where no one knew his story. 

Moving was a double edge sword. On the one hand he was in a new city that had so much to offer if you allowed yourself to take it in fully. One the other hand, if he kept staying in his small apartment, stuck to that same cheap restaurant, and spent most of his time searching for a lackluster job; he would be settling into a simal routine that would bury him further from coping with things… Like the divorce. 

He sat on the balcony, looking out into the city lights that began to twinkle as the sun set. There was a whole city for him to explore and it was never going to happen if he kept sitting in that same position everyday. His interactions with Duncan encouraged him to face some of his problems. Topher needed to make friends. 

Traditionally one would make friends at a job or at a local bar, but in his case on an app. It was a safe bet, without leaving the comfort of his home. He saw this step in the right direction.